Kami no Shinobi
by Rael Orion
Summary: Spoilers up to chapter 500. As Uchiha Madara prepares to unleash the Kyuubi, a surprising person makes his appearance. Saving Kushina and stopping the Kyuubi, this man needs not even make himself a legend. He already is. Pairings inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Kami no Shinobi  
**Author(s):** Ra/Rael Orion  
**Summary:** Starts at chapter 500. As Uchiha Madara prepares to unleash the Kyuubi, a surprising person makes his appearance. Saving Kushina and stopping the Kyuubi, this man needs not even make himself a legend. He already is. Rikudo Sennin fans welcome. Time travel. AU. NaruxFemKyu  
**Main pairing(s): **Naruto x Female Kyuubi, Minato x Kushina  
**Time period:** Starts on October 10th, the Kyuubi's attack.  
**Rating:** Rated M just in case I decide to do something later that would require it.  
**Warning(s):** Time Travel. Alternative Universe. Spoilers. Questionable humour?

§§§§§§§§§§ Prologue §§§§§§§§§§

"Fourth Hokage… Minato. Back away from the jinchuuriki or you son dies at the ripe old age of one minute," said the cloaked figure ominously, his hand held menacingly over the toddler in his arms.

The Hokage Namikaze Minato and his wife Uzumaki Kushina stared in shock at the intruder. Seconds ago everything was perfect. The birth of their son had went as well as could be expected and the Kyuubi's seal was about to be fortified. Then a man appeared, killed everyone and took their son hostage.

When the stranger inched his hand closer to the newborn child, the yellow-haired man growled in rage. A tug at his sleeve redirected his eyes to his wife, who nodded tentatively at him before he nodded in turn and returned his gaze to the other figure in the room, inching away a step at a time. Once a few meters of distance had been put between him and the new mother, the cloaked figure unexpectedly threw the child in the air in a swift move, eliciting gasps from the action.

"Naruto!" The yell was mirrored by both parents. The Yellow Flash dashed to his son while the intruder rushed to the weakened jinchuuriki's side. The new father, having just caught his son, turned around quickly just in time to watch in horror as a blade, covered in etched seals, made its way to his love's stomach, the glowing seal on it almost pulsing in anticipation.

A mere inch away from piercing the soft human flesh, however, it halted. Three pairs of eyes, though one hidden by a mask, widened. Around the masked figure's hand was a hand. Shifting their eyes slowly from the appendage to it's owner, they were faced with a dark, shifting cloak, moving in an unseen wind as though made of smoke. A thin mist escaped the strange material and the interior of what could be described as a hood was shrouded from view by shadows. Frozen in shock, none in the cave moved until a strong pulse of vile, malicious chakra exploded from the woman's stomach. A scream of pain escaped the redhead's throat as crimson chakra poured out of the seal, melting the blade's tip and soon after the whole weapon by overcharging its seals. The now unarmed man recovered his bearings first and seemed to phase through the grip that held him as he jumped away from the vicious energy. The hand that previously held him merely disappeared within the cloak at the gesture.

"Impressive but too late nonetheless, stranger. The nine tailed beast shall be mine tonight!" Kushina's pained cries as the demon sealed in her was clawing its way out were a constant noise behind the masked assassin's words. The man let out a short, evil laugh before disappearing from view within a swirling pattern in the air.

The Fourth, ignored until then and shocked into silence, was brought back by his name being screamed by his agonizing wife. When he saw the cloaked man still by his wife, he instinctively threw a small, three-pronged kunai at him, reappearing not even a second later behind the stranger, a normal kunai at his throat.

"I don't know who you are but—"

"Is it really wise, Namikaze-san," started the voice of a young man, slightly distorted through whatever it was that he was wearing. "to use a technique such as the Hiraishin with such a young child as tag-along?" The innocent question immediately drew Minato's eyes to the child in his hands. Seeing nothing wrong, he suddenly cursed his stupidity for looking away from a potential enemy and looked back at the other man in the room, who had not moved an inch. "Just saying," he added, almost absently. Minato was about to retort when a rage-filled howl filled his ears. Eyes wide, his gaze snapped to a stream of chakra, red and bubble-like in substance, which was slowly taking the shape of a fox's head. The head soon started to move in the direction of the cave's entrance. The clang of a kunai impacting against the floor preceded Minato's now free hand as he reached for the beast's seal, only to be interrupted by the same hand that had earlier stopped his wife from being impaled. Minato snarled in outrage.

"Do not move," the man ordered Minato.

"Let me go no-" started Minato only to be interrupted by a humongous amount of pressure to his shoulders. He looked up with a trembling body at the man.

"Namikaze Minato, Yondaime Hokage. If you wish for your family's lives to go on, you will stop acting like a petulant child and obey my orders." The voice, although young, held such power that Minato was practically frozen in fear, despite the reprimand.

"But, Kushina… The Kyuubi! The—"

A loud, sharp noise echoed in the cavern. Head turned sideways and blue eyes wide in shock, a red, hand-shaped bruise slowly started to appear on Minato's cheek. He slowly turned his head back to the stranger with almost uncomprehending eyes.

Namikaze Minato, Yondaime Hokage and the Yellow Flash of Konoha… had just been slapped. For being hysterical. Had the circumstances not been so grave, his ego would have taken a large blow.

"Stay silent and take care of your son. I will take care of the rest. Now stop disturbing me as I need to concentrate." Minato, too shocked and dazed to do anything else, nodded. Both men's gazes returned to the quickly thinning red chakra leaving the limp woman on the table. They waited in silence for a few, excruciatingly long minutes before the last of it left the body.

Instantly, the man's glowing hand was pressed to the cooling stomach of the woman while his other one started a series of one-handed seals. The hand resting on the fading seal gave a pulse of golden energy before being replaced by the second one. As the hand slapped on her stomach, intricate seals instantly expended and soon covered the whole body of the unconscious woman. Changing hands again, the seals soon glowed with the same golden energy before they flashed brightly.

Minato closed his eyes to shield them. A sudden intake of breath later, the light died down. Minato lowered his arm and almost dropped to his knees in relief when he saw Kushina's chest rising and falling in a rhythmic fashion. He turned to look at the man to see him walking toward the exit at a leisurely pace. He stopped in the mouth of the cave to look at Minato.

"Take care of your family for now, Namikaze Minato. I've got a rampaging demon to take care of." With what just _had _to be a wave, the figured disappeared from his sight. It took him a few moments to recover from the abrupt and yet casual departure before he turned back to his wife. Covering her with his trademark white and red cloak discarded before the whole mess took place, he picked her up bridal style, their child securely held in her unconscious grip. He dashed to the hospital. Bursting through the hospital doors with his wife in his arms, still bloodied from giving birth, he didn't even have the time to ask for help before several doctors and nurses rushed toward him. He barely had the time to step away from her bed before the lead doctor stopped his diagnostic and looked up, frowning. Before Minato could panic, the doctor spoke.

"She's perfectly fine. If I didn't know she had been pregnant only days ago, I wouldn't even believe she had been… Yondaime-sama?" Unfortunately, Minato was already far gone in his thoughts. Before he could start to think too much into things, a small cry brought his attention to his newborn son. He wasn't sure how he'd gone from standing in a lobby to sitting next to his wife's bed but discarded the thought soon enough in favour of the infant. He looked so peaceful in his mother's arms. The moving form of her child waking her, Minato looked at his wife just in time to see her open drowsy eyes. A loving smile spread across her lips as she held her now giggling son before her eyes opened wide in realization and her head snapped in his direction. "The Kyuubi. I can't feel it anymore." Minato was gone the moment she finished her sentence.

He reappeared moments later on a large, open field overlooking the Kyuubi's final steps toward completion. A shadow cast next to him saw the strange man from earlier appear, cloak still shifting as though alive. Both were silent as the beast finished taking form, one lost in thought and the other merely uncomfortable with the whole situation.

"Kushina-san is well, I presume?" asked the cloaked figure. Both knew it was more of a statement than a question but Minato nodded nonetheless. He made to speak but was interrupted before he even uttered a single word. "We shall talk about this later. For now, crazy psychopaths and humongous chakra entities take priority." Minato's look gave away his confusion.

"Crazy psychopaths?" Minato caught what he thought to be a nod.

"The masked man that killed the others in the cave," was the simple answer. Minato nodded, his normal attitude finally coming back.

"And how do we go about this?" he asked seriously. The response was immediate.

"I deal with this. You stay here and look pretty." Minato's head snapped at him in anger.

"Hey! I'm not helpless!" he said, insulted.

"Summoning the Death God does not count." The simple sentence shocked Minato.

"How—" Again, he was interrupted.

"I said later. Now shut up and watch." At those words, the demon gave an earth-shattering roar as it was finally complete and Minato was barely shocked when he saw a swirling shape come out of nowhere in front of it, which soon turned into the masked assassin from earlier. The beast and the man stopped moving, locked in a staring contest, before a shape Minato recognized flashed in the fox's eyes.

_The Sharingan…_

He looked at his companion, if he could be called that, and raised an eyebrow at the new addition to his equipment.

_Where'd he get a shakujō?_

He looked back from the staff in the man's possession to the masked ninja in time to see him disappear. The Kyuubi didn't move, though, and stared at the same spot the masked man had been standing on, now occupied by the… monk?

_I mean, a shakujō_ is_ a monk staff, isn't it?_

A roar brought his attention back to the scene before him.

He looked on as the Kyuubi raised one of its massive front paws to crush the man.

He looked on as the man tilted the staff lightly to the side and raised his other hand toward the titanic beast.

He looked on as the paw came down at great speed toward the man.

He looked on as the beast seemingly froze before its eyes flashed.

Minato covered his eyes as a bright flash, brighter than any he had ever witnessed, exploded from their direction. When he could look again, he saw no giant beast of destruction. He didn't even see a scene of total horror and ruins either.

All his petrified gaze saw was the mysterious figure, ringed staff now gone, his back facing him and seemingly holding a figure in his arms. The man vanished again and reappeared just as silently next to him. Minato, having somehow expected this, looked at the figure held by the stranger and was once again shocked.

A woman of incredible beauty was limp in the man's arms. Smooth, unblemished skin was covered by a beautiful attire that he couldn't even begin to describe. Long, vibrant red hair was flowing down her back, a few strands braided with exotic jewels framing her hearth-shaped face. Thin red eyebrows contrasted with the very light bluish powder on her closed eyelids and blood red lips set in a straight line completed the picture. Her bare shoulders and feet took nothing from her exotic beauty.

"Who—"

"The Kyuubi."

"Wha—"

"Humanoid form."

"How—"

"Secret technique."

"Why—"

"Felt like it." The last answer stumped Minato.

"You turned the _Kyuubi_ into a human form because you felt like it?" He couldn't help but ask. This was too absurd.

"That pretty much sums it up, yeah."

"But what if she—"

"She won't go on a rampage. Beside, even if she did, I just proved that I can stop her, no?"

"Okay but what about—"

"I'll deal wi—"

"Stop interrupting me, damnit!" yelled Minato in frustration. Enough was enough. The resulting silence stretched on for a few minutes before the man decided to break it.

"My apologies for my rudeness. I had not realized this might be offending to you." This was spoken in a monotone that Minato was quickly becoming accustomed to.

"You're… pretty bland, you know?" he said in a deadpan. The man raised an eyebrow. Well, at least Minato thought he did. Annoying cloak. Suddenly, Minato felt the effect of all the events that had happened that night as a blanket of exhaustion fell over him. His shoulder slumped down.

"Rough night?" asked the man.

"Tch."

"May I recommend that we return to your wife at the hospital as to get you and the Kyuubi some rest?" Minato stared at him blankly.

"No offence but just who the hell are you?" he asked.

"I'm the Rikudo Sennin."

Minato's well thought out 'Bullshit' died in his throat when he considered just what this man had done tonight. Instead, he just fainted.

The cloaked figure stared at the Yondaime's body. Then, he tilted his head to the side and shrugged before a clone appeared next to him and took the body in his hands. They disappeared and reappeared in the same hospital room where Uzumaki Kushina was resting, being conveniently the only one in the room. She froze when she saw two identical men appear in the room, one holding her unconscious husband and the other a beautiful woman she had never seen before. The unconscious two were placed on different beds before the clone disappeared. The man then turned to her and made a small bow. Before she could say anything, two arms emerged from the cloak and took down the hood covering his head, freeing wild blonde hair and purple ringed eyes from its clutches. Kushina's eyes widened and she let out a gasp as what she stared at was an almost identical copy of her husband.

"Good evening Uzumaki-san. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Namikaze Naruto, your son. I came from the future because I had nothing else to do and also because I could. Nice to meet you."

Kushina fainted. The small Naruto giggled in her arms. The older Naruto snickered, picked up the giggling child and left out the door, slapping a seal on the door to keep anyone else from entering. His eyes turned to a cerulean blue as his cloak morphed into an open white jacket with red flames at the bottom. He smiled happily at the smiling baby in his arms.

"Now why don't we go and play 'I'm the Hokage' for the next few hours?" he said cheerfully. The child giggled cutely and the Yondaime lookalike smiled before walking away from the room.

_If all goes according to plan, they'll make each other faint again with what I told each one so I can have more time to have fun._

"Life is great, isn't it, little Naruto-chan?" The giggles attracted several 'awww' from passing nurses.

§§§§§§§§§§ End of Chapter §§§§§§§§§§

AN: Because I felt like it.

Updated on 13/07/12


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Kami no Shinobi  
**Author(s):** Ra/Rael Orion  
**Summary:** Starts at chapter 500. As Uchiha Madara prepares to unleash the Kyuubi, a surprising person makes his appearance. Saving Kushina and stopping the Kyuubi, this man needs not even make himself a legend. He already is. Rikudo Sennin fans welcome. Time travel. AU. NaruxFemKyu  
**Main pairing(s): **Naruto x Female Kyuubi, Minato x Kushina (Note that I wanted, at some point, to introduce Konan with Naruto and Kyuubi. What with all the stuff about the Rinnegan. However, there's still a while before that so I _may_ change my mind.)  
**Warning(s):** Time Travel. Alternative Universe. Spoilers. Questionable humor? Since it was mentioned, I guess godly!Naruto would also count. A swear word and sexual reference, too. I think.

§§§§§§§§§§ Chapter One §§§§§§§§§§

In the hidden village of Konohagakure, more precisely the western hospital's third floor, there was a peculiar door. What was so peculiar? That would have been the out of place white tag on it, contrasting with the wooden door. On this tag was a seal written in an unusual green ink. What was even stranger about this was that none of the many nurses, doctors or even lost patients seemed to notice it, even if only to glance at it.

Through this door, we could find a standard hospital room, immaculately white in every aspect. Of the ten beds in total, three were occupied. On the first one was a woman with dark red hair, tightly hugging a white pillow upon which was drawn a giggling blond haired baby boy. The second bed was home to a blond haired man, wearing an open cloak pink in color, a darker pink forming flames at the bottom. Obviously, this particular piece of clothing had a very unfortunate laundry accident with red socks. On the third bed was a beautiful woman with exotic looks. Oddly, she was the only one of the three with no sign of anything odd about her.

The silence of the room was interrupted only by the light snores of its occupants, along with the occasional words spoken through their sleep. The sun's ray were resting upon their features as the sun was slowly making its way up in the sky, witness to a bright, shiny day in the hidden ninja village.

It was around noon that a pair of dazed red eyes parted open, only to immediately shut when they were invaded by bright sunlight. A curse was halfway spat before twin orbs of blood, each with a vertical black slit in them, opened wide in shock and, unheeding of the pain flaring through them, snapped toward the window. Once they caught sight of the outside world, many emotions flashed across them before a deep happiness settled at last.

That was, of course, until the red eyes caught red stands of _hair_, and not fur, resting innocently next to her head. Panic spread through her before the eyelids snapped shut. Once calm enough, they opened. Their owner stared down, only to be met with twin mounds protruding from a chest, _her_ chest, covered by clothes; Breasts.

Minato instinctively snapped in a battle position, kunai at the ready, when a scream ripped through the silent room. The other female in the room also jumped out of her bed, holding the pillow as a weapon. Both ninjas looked around in panic before their eyes rested on the woman still lying down on the bed, eyes glued to her chest. Minato reflexively turned around at the sight, a slight blush on his face, before he turned back toward the woman even faster, pointing an accusing finger at her.

"You!" The lone word was enough to divert the woman from her apparent dilemma to the Hokage. Almost instantly, anger poured into her eyes as she snarled at him.

"You did this to me!" she yelled before her eyes widened even more, if possible. The Yondaime stood confused for a second before she spoke again. "What did you do, bastard! I can't move!" Answering his question before he even asked, the red eyed woman continued to seemingly try to move as Minato didn't move in confusion. He turned around and locked eyes with Kushina's equally confused eyes, before his gaze was drawn toward the pillow she was holding. Then, it all suddenly came back to him.

"Oh kami…" he managed to say before he sat on a random bed, staring blankly ahead. This action was enough to attract his lover's attention.

"Minato?" A hand was gently placed on his shoulder and he turned his head to look into Kushina's eyes, concern shinning in them. Both ignored the frustrated yells in the corner of the room for now. "Are you okay?"

"The Kyuubi." Those words confused the former jinchuuriki before realization settled in when she didn't feel its chakra in her system anymore. She opened her mouth to speak before Minato beat her to it. "I know. And I know where Kyuubi is."

"We have to hurry! We need to seal it back before—" Her sentence was abruptly cut by a familiar killing intent, although much weaker than usual. She turned her head, almost petrified in fear, before her scared violet eyes stared into red pools of hatred. Sweat poured down her face before she uttered the name the gaze brought to mind. "Kyuubi…" she whispered, barely restraining herself from stuttering. She was given a snarl for her efforts.

"Don't you dare try to seal me again you insect! I longed for this day for an eternity and I won't be imprisoned again!" The woman, now known to be the Kyuubi, frantically moved her head, a rather sharp contrast to the rest of her body, which's sole movements were those of her rising and falling chest. "I will not be sealed again!" she yelled, even louder than her previous shouts. Breaking out of her petrified state, Kushina swirled around to face Minato, eyes filled with panic.

"Minato! We must seal it before it breaks free from whatever it is that's holding it!" she said quickly, ignoring the indignant shout of 'What do you mean by 'it' you worm?'. When Minato turned his head to stare at her blankly, she froze.

"I don't think we need to seal her anymore." This sentence silenced the whole room, both women staring at him in shock. Kushina quickly turned around and was ready to glare at the other redhead but stopped when she saw the surprise mirrored in her. She turned back to Minato again, hesitantly.

"Wha… What do you mean, Minato?" The Kyuubi and she barely dared to breath, awaiting the answer.

"If the Kyuubi is right now a woman, that means that it wasn't a dream. So even if she were to go on a rampage, she'd be stopped before anything could happen." Seeing the two blank looks he was getting, he somehow managed to pull off a sheepish grin, scratching the back of his head. "That didn't make much sense, did it?"

"What was this dream of yours, flesh bag?" Ignoring the insult, Minato's face turned serious.

"I met the Rikudo Sennin." The simple sentence once again plunged the room into silence. Before he could speak again, though, laughter echoed around the room and both ninjas turned their gaze toward the Kyuubi, who stopped and smirked at them, amused.

"Is that it? You met the _Rikudo Sennin_?" Here, she laughed again, malicious mirth dancing in her eyes, all of it directed at the frowning blond man. "That man is nothing but a fairy tale you idiot! Something created by you pitiful humans to run away from the truth that it was _us_, the _Bijuus_, that brought chakra to you all! You humans, greedy for power, could never admit to using the gifts of _demons_ and yet were unwilling to let go of chakra! Thus, the _Rikudo Sennin_ was born! And now you will—"

"Shut up." Ah, sweet, blissful retribution. Sure, she wasn't the one that kept interrupting him but Minato could now understand a bit more just how great it felt to interrupt someone.

Okay, so _perhaps_ it was a bit petty of him but he didn't care about it at all. Taking advantage of the silence, the Kyuubi being left speechless that someone dared to interrupt her, he began talking again.

"It _was_ the Rikudo Sennin. And before you say anything, nobody in this village, perhaps even in the whole _world_, would be strong enough to both _stop_ you and turn you into a human. The only person even rumoured to have this kind of power was the sennin. Of course, I couldn't see whether he had the Rinnegan, what with that annoying cloak in the way, but..." His voice, which had turned to a low grumbling at the end, stopped when he heard a soft thump. Blue and crimson eyes turned toward Kushina, who had dropped the pillow to the ground. Concern flashed in Minato's eyes. "Kushina?" The soft spoken word brought Kushina to her senses, somewhat, and she started to shake slightly.

"I saw it…" Her voice was but a whisper, though it was heard by the other two's keen hearings. Before either could ask, she turned her head to Minato. "The Rinnegan…" Minato's breath caught in his throat before he forced himself to calm down and looked at her in the eyes.

"Are you sure? Did it look like—"

"Ringed eyes… Purple ringed eyes…" she whispered. Although it registered, deep in his subconscious, Minato ignored the fact that he had been interrupted again in favour of freezing his body. The Kyuubi did not have quite the same reaction, however.

"So what if that puny mortal had freaky eyes? I refuse to believe such idiocy! Now release me and turn me back to normal!" Her screams of rage, which continued for several minutes, went unnoticed by the new parents, one of which was now shaking uncontrollably, eyes as wide as possible and blood pumping at an insane rate.

"Wha… what did… did you just say…?" said the Yondaime, making the Kyuubi realize she had missed the last sentence from Kushina

"He… he looks exactly like you, Minato," repeated Kushina, shaking herself. "He introduced himself as… as…" Her voice seemed to fail her until her shoulders were gently gripped by her lover's trembling hands. She mustered up all the courage she could before she spoke again. "He said he was… our son… from the future…" It was now her turn to hold him as he very nearly fell to the floor in shock.

"That's impossible…" he said. Soon, he started to repeat it, again and again, as though unwilling to accept it or merely unable to comprehend it at all. The hand of Kushina on his cheek, warm and comforting, brought his eyes up from the floor, locking into her own before she hugged him, whispering soothing words into his ear. The Kyuubi watched this silently, having tired from screaming to no one and strangely interested in the conversation.

All of this, however, was suddenly brought to a screeching halt when a loud, colourful swear was heard from outside, bringing the attention of all those present in the room toward two shinobi resting on the roof of the building in front of the hospital. The loud voices were clearly heard by anyone in the vicinity.

"What's with all those pointless missions? Ever since this morning, Yondaime-sama has us all running around the village for those absurd tasks!" shouted the first one. Kushina shot a confused look at Minato, who returned it with his own before their turned back to the conversation.

"I know that! I had to run to _each_ tailoring shop, or any kind of shop that sold clothes at all, to find blue and red striped _socks_ all morning!" yelled the second. Even the Kyuubi had to raise an eyebrow at the absurdity of the conversation.

"And that not even the worst of it!"

"I know! It's that… that…"

"That creepy kid!" Both men shuddered at this point.

"Yeah! All he ever does is that… that weird giggling!" Three sets of eyes were drawn to a pillow, laying forgotten on the floor.

"Every time we complete one of those missions, he just sits there, _giggling_. I swear next time he does it—"

"Are you crazy? Haven't you heard of the one guy that did? I heard it was _horrible_!"

"What happened?"

"All the women seem to just _love_ the little guy. See what I mean?" The other one stilled, a chill running down his spine, before he slumped his shoulders and sighed.

"We should probably get back to it now. It's been nice venting a little. See you later." The second jonin merely waved before both hurried off to wherever.

Back in the hospital room, a deathly silence was floating as the three occupants of the room were completely speechless. It took several minutes before the silence was broken.

"What the hell… was that?" The tone that Kushina was using was blank. Surprisingly, it was the Kyuubi who answered.

"I… have absolutely no idea." The silence resumed its dominion over them for a few minutes before Minato spoke up, a strange look in his eyes.

"Kushina-chan?" he asked. The woman turned to him, a questioning look in her eyes.

"Yes?"

"Did you say that… Naruto… looked exactly like me?" At this, Kushina seemed to quickly catch on to what he was implying. A look of shock, now quite common in the room, passed in her eyes before she quickly tried to bury the thought.

"Yes but with his eyes, I'm sure that they'd never confuse him with you!" she explained. Both Minato and she sighed in relief at the actually sensible explanation before they heard the Kyuubi's laugh. They looked at her and felt a chill run down their spine at the smug look she gave them. "What is it…?" Kushina was almost too afraid to ask. The Kyuubi's smug look only intensified.

"Well, if he's the sennin you seem fixated on believing he is, putting a foolproof genjutsu over his eyes doesn't seem that hard to believe, no?" Both humans felt their panic return tenfold at her words. Minato dashed to the door but was unable to open it. He went to the windows only to have a similar result. His blood ran cold as the Kyuubi's laugh ringed once more in his ears. "I don't know this guy but I like him already!" She continued to laugh until Minato's next sentence.

"He's the one who turned you human and is keeping you immobile right now." Her response was almost instant.

"That fucker's going down!"

"I'll go down on you anytime, Kyuubi-hime."

Three heads snapped at an incredible speed toward the door. In front of it stood a man that could be mistaken for the Yondaime with no trouble whatsoever. Slowly, though, the clothes started to shift to a peculiar, shifting cloak as cerulean blue eyes turned into mesmerizing purple eyes, a ripple pattern appearing in them. A smirk tugged at his lips as three gobsmacked expressions met his arrival.

"Allow me to properly introduce myself to you all. My name is Namikaze Naruto, the Rikudo Sennin. I'm your son from the future."

The three stood in silence for several moments, taking in the man's appearance and words. Right before any of them could speak, though, an echoing, eerie _giggle_ was heard and they only now noticed the blue eyed, blond haired baby in the man's arms. One thought ran simultaneously through their heads.

_That giggle was creepy._

§§§§§§§§§§ End of Chapter §§§§§§§§§§

AN: Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Not much of Naruto himself but I still enjoyed writing this scene.

_Kyuubi's scream at the beginning_: For as long as it existed, the Kyuubi was only a massive amount of malevolent chakra. I doubt she'd accept being turned into a human female all that easily and would therefore freak out. I just figured having breasts would be a good way to make her snap.

_Kyuubi's explanation of chakra_: As the bijjus were created upon the sennin's death, the Kyuubi would not have been able to meet him at all. Also, since chakra users started appearing at about the same time as they did and used an energy that was like a diluted form of theirs, it could easily be mistaken to come from them. From there, it's a simple matter of adding two and two together to form the theory that they are the real source of chakra.

_The Yondaime's pink cloak_: It happened to me with my favourite towel. Laugh all you want but it was still pretty annoying. Don't ever put red socks with anything white in the laundry; it WILL turn _pink_.

_The two jonins' conversation_: That was to jumpstart the events leading to Naruto's appearance.

Well, Minato, Kushina and the Kyuubi's reactions to it all. As well as a bit of MinaKushi fluff, I guess. I'll admit I was pretty surprised at the apparent success of this. I was just writing this as a way to vent some steam because the chapter 500, for some reason, just caused me to think 'BULLSHIT'. I don't even know why, exactly. The idea of making Naruto the actual Sennin actually came just as Minato asked who he was.

Also, someone asked how Kushina survived the escape from Kyuubi. Nagato said that one of the paths was control over life and death, at least for the recently deceased, I think. The 'golden energy' and the sealing array in the last chapter were kinda to bring her back to life using it.

Anyway, I await your comments. Good day to you all.

God that sounded old fashioned…


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** Kami no Shinobi  
**Author(s):** Ra/Rael Orion  
**Summary:** Starts at chapter 500. As Uchiha Madara prepares to unleash the Kyuubi, a surprising person makes his appearance. Saving Kushina and stopping the Kyuubi, this man needs not even make himself a legend. He already is. Rikudo Sennin fans welcome. Time travel. AU.  
**Main pairing(s): **Naruto x Female Kyuubi, Minato x Kushina (Note that I wanted, at some point, to introduce Konan with Naruto and Kyuubi. What with all the stuff about the Rinnegan. However, there's still a while before that so I _may_ change my mind.)  
**Warning(s):** Time Travel. Alternative Universe. Spoilers. Questionable humor? Since it was mentioned, I guess godly!Naruto would also count.

§§§§§§§§§§ Chapter Two §§§§§§§§§§

Silence. Silence was at the same time one of the most oppressive things that existed and yet also one of the easiest to break. Its presence could render a man to insanity, given enough time, but a mere whisper could break it to pieces.

Right now, in a non-descript hospital room of a non-descript hospital, silence was all that seemed to exist. The bright sun showed that five people were currently between its four walls; two men, two women and a baby boy.

On one side of the room, their backs to the large windows, two of them stood, a man and woman, as though made of solid rock in their stillness. On the bed nearest the window laid the other woman, as still as the other and eyes just as wide.

On the opposite side, right in front of the only door of the room stood the other man, although this one had a laid back pose. The child mentioned earlier was sitting in his arms, wide blues eyes alit in wonder.

All of them were silent, not speaking a word, the three nearest the windows in shock. The man at the door watched them, amused at their reactions. The baby merely watched them.

Minutes were spent like this before the silence was shattered, anticlimactically, by a bird crashing into the window. The three people closest to it were startled by the unexpected noise. Their eyes were automatically drawn to the man at the door, as though they suspected he was behind the completely random event. The person in question had a blank expression on his face.

"Oh. I guess I forgot animals were also affected by the seal." Receiving blank stares in return, he explained. "I put a seal on this room to erase its existence from anyone else until I remove it. The bird probably thought there was nothing here, hence its unfortunate accident."

Seconds ticked by, silence overcoming once more the room, before it was disturbed by a laugh, startling two people in the room. The Hokage was almost doubled over in laughter, tears coming out of his eyes. The two women looked at him oddly.

"Minato-kun? What's so funny?" asked Kushina, utterly confused by the situation. The laughing man took several moments to recover from his laughing fit before looking back at her, a smile on his slightly red face.

"It's just… the sheer… absurdity… of it all," he managed in between deep breaths. Understanding dawned on the Uzumaki before she had a small smile of her own, even managing a chuckle. The Kyuubi, though, did not share their amusement.

"The bird crashed into a window, big deal!" The harsh comment took away the light mood that had briefly come over them. She turned her head toward the sennin, glaring. "As for you, release me this instant and turn me back! I will not tolerate this insult any longer!" Her fierce glare did not seem to have any effect on its intended target.

She growled before one of his arms appeared from his cloak. He waved it lazily before it was hidden again. She was about to insult him before realizing she could move her body again. Her surprise lasted a second before a cruel smirk replaced her slightly open mouth.

She immediately jumped at the object of her anger but missed by a whole meter, crashing into the wall. Falling down to the floor, she looked stunned before throwing an accusing glare at Naruto.

"What did you do to me!" Her question was met with a raised eyebrow, as though asking what she meant, to which she gave a snarl before attempting another lunge, achieving roughly the same result. Before she could scream at him again, he spoke.

"As amusing as it is to watch yourself crash into walls, I believe you should stop trying to attack me like that. You may have been a force to reckon with as a gigantic demon fox but a human body has a much different balance to it. That's why you are largely off with your jumps. I'd try to get used to at least walking on two legs before trying anything like that."

As insulted as she felt at his almost patronizing tone, the Kyuubi relented her 'assault'. Proud she may have been but she was not a stupid beast who only relied on instincts. She was an intelligent being who could learn and adapt and was quite adept at it. As annoying as it was to her, she followed the man's advice and slowly started to bring herself up from her spot on the floor, using the wall as support, and finally managed to stand on two legs. Her balance was shaky at best but she couldn't help her feeling of triumph. That'd show the bastard. She thought she saw a hint of respect flash through his eyes as he nodded at her before turning his attention back to the other occupants of the room, who were looking incredulous at the exchange. The Kyuubi snorted slightly.

Naruto started to walk toward them, startling them a bit. Minato instinctively took a step in front of Kushina and was rewarded by a slight jab in the ribs before Kushina stepped next to him, a frown on her face. The message was clear, though: _I don't need protection._ Minato looked sheepish for a second before a cough attracted their attention to Naruto, who was standing right in from of them.

"I believe this belongs to you?" he asked in an amused tone. They looked down from his face to meet the sparkling blue eyes of their newborn child, his small arms extended toward them. Kushina instantly picked up her son and hugged him tight, tears starting to fall down her smiling face. Minato embraced her, forming a cocoon around their smiling child, he too crying in happiness.

The previous holder of the baby watched the scene with warmth-filled eyes before a slight metallic ring brought his attention back to the struggling demonic woman in the room, who had managed to reach the end of a bed and was now leaning on its metal bar, hence the sound. Her eyes barely looked at the happy family before focusing on him. Leaving the sobbing parents behind him, he made his way toward her, his calm demeanour and slow steps irritating the demoness. A few more moments and he was a few feet away from her, locking calm purple eyes with murderous red ones. A swift shift in the air and her clawed hand swiped inches from his face at great speed. Missing her intended target, though, she lost her feeble balance and fell to the floor, falling on her back with a muted thump. She glared at the blond, who was now looking down at her with an emotionless expression. She slowly got back to her feet, willing him to drop dead all the way.

"Would you be willing to act more civilized for the time being or will I have to paralyze you again?" The abrupt question did nothing to reduce her anger at the man but she grudgingly agreed with a nod, knowing that he could and would proceed with his words, no matter how loath she was to admit it. He stared at her for a few seconds, although gauging her sincerity, before he nodded. "Good. Now, on to the matter of your name." The seemingly random question had the Kyuubi furrowing her brows in confusion.

"My name? I already have a name you idiot." The insult was ignored as the man leaned back against a bed opposing the one she herself was leaning on.

"I mean a real name, not a title. Going around calling you 'the Kyuubi' will get repetitive after a while. Of course, if you so wish, it can simply be Kyuubi. Your choice, really," the sage explained calmly. The Kyuubi stayed silent for a while before she looked back at him.

"Kyuubi will be fine. I don't want any other name that would belittle my power." The Rinnegan holder gave her a small smile.

"As you wish… _Kyuu-chan_," he teased amusedly. She bared her teeth, abnormally long canine protruding from her upper lip, as she sent a wave of killer intent his way. He was completely undisturbed, however, and merely turned his head to the windows. She followed his example and was met with two suspicious and guarded looks directed at her.

A loud growl was heard in the room. Minato and Kushina's eyes were wide, their jaws hanging a little. Naruto turned his head and looked at her with great amusement shining in his eyes as Kyuubi… blushed.

As if on cue, a similar growling erupted from her stomach, deepening her embarrassed blush. Seeing the look he was giving her, she glared at the blond closest to her.

"I'll have you know that I haven't eaten in decades, fleshbag!"

"That's because you didn't have to eat for decades," replied the sage.

"And who's to blame!" The sentence was yelled accusatively.

"Very well, then. How about we go and eat something?" Three growls met his sentence. Both he and Kyuubi looked at the two remaining adults in the room, amused with their identical blushes and sheepish grins. The baby in their arms giggled happily, although this giggle was normal as opposed to the earlier one. "Since everyone seems ready, let's go," said Naruto.

"Wait." The blond haired legend stopped and looked at Minato curiously. "Shouldn't you hide the Rinnegan and change your looks to not look like my clone?" His question was met with a blank stare.

"Why should I?"

"Well, the Rinnegan isn't exactly _common_ here. Or in the world in general. And I'm known not to have any relatives, too."

"Your point?"

"People are going to ask questions."

"And I care why, exactly?" Kyuubi took great amusement from the Yondaime's irritated look. So did his wife, apparently.

"Don't you want this whole situation to be, oh I don't know, _kept secret_?"

"I don't care."

"You do realize the problems this is going to produce, right?" Naruto gave him a blank stare.

"I'm the Rikudo Sennin."

"You say that as though it answers everything."

"It does." Minato considered continuing to argue but sighed instead.

"Nevermind, then." The sennin smiled, pleased, before opening the door effortlessly, much to the Yondaime's irritation, and ripping a seal off the door. He then proceeded to stand aside, letting Minato and Kushina go through before going back toward Kyuubi.

"What are you—" Her question was left unfinished as Naruto swiftly took her in his arms. It took her a moment to realize exactly what he was doing before she started to yell. "Put me down you monkey!" She was surprised when he actually listened to her and let her down on her feet. She lasted a full three seconds before starting to fall, at which point he took her in his arms again.

"You can't walk and I have the _slightest_ impression that you won't crawl your way to a restaurant." She gave him an indignant scowl before settling down, arms crossed over her chest. He walked out the door, closed it and joined the two waiting ninjas before they all started to walk toward the exit, leaving gaping nurses, doctors and patients in their wake. Once they reached it, though, the Kyuubi asked a question, her expression conveying her curiosity.

"By the way, what did you mean when you said 'I'll go down on you' earlier?" The Hokage and his wife sputtered in disbelief, faces red. The Rikudo Sennin merely smiled at her, eyes filled with mischief, an emotion she recognized all too well.

"Well, Kyuubi-hime, when a human man and woman love each other very much, or otherwise just find each other hot, they…"

~~~~~Җ~~~~~Җ~~~~~Җ~~~~~Җ~~~~~

When the 'Yondaime Hokage' entered the high class restaurant, most people skipped his facial features and clothing to stare at the woman in his arms, which was _not_ Uzumaki Kushina. This immediately earned several frowns, followed by scared expressions when the woman glared at them while releasing a sizeable amount of killing intent.

When the Yondaime Hokage entered the high class restaurant, everybody made a double take. Shifting their eyes quickly from the normal looking kage of their village holding a child, although the pink cloak was anything but normal, to the Yondaime lookalike, dressed in a moving cloak and with peculiar eyes, many were unable to decide what to think, the rest unable to think at all. It was when the aforementioned Uzumaki entered the place, the only one that looked _exactly_ as she usually did, that a waitress approached them, although slowly.

"Hum, how may I help you today?" Her voice was uncertain but Naruto acted as though he hadn't noticed.

"A table for four along with something to hold Naruto-chan would be greatly appreciated, miss…?" The silence stretched for a few seconds before the waitress finally understood he was asking for her name. She blushed, embarrassed.

"Atsuko, sir," she said timidly before finally regaining her posture. "This way."

She took them to one of the relatively large restaurant's corner where they sat at a round table in silence. The woman then left and returned with a baby chair and menus. She took her leave soon after. Kyuubi looked as each of them opened the 'silly piece of paper' before she copied them and looked at the list of offered items, the menu hiding her from view. Naruto noticed amusedly the droplets of drool falling to the table under her menu. It took ten minutes for the same woman to return with a notepad to take their order. Immediately and without waiting to be addressed, Kyuubi turned her menu around and pointed at the long list under the title 'Meat'. _Well, this place sure is straightforward,_ thought Naruto absently.

"I want this." The tone used to say this made it clear that this was a command, not an order. Naruto snickered quietly to himself. The waitress looked both confused and insulted.

"Which one?" she asked, her smile slightly forced. She received an annoyed look from the red eyed woman.

"All of it." The forced smile dropped completely and her eyes widened slightly at the demand.

"Excuse me but did you really just asked for _all_ of it?" Her tone shone with her slight disbelief. Kyuubi's look had not changed, though.

"Yes. Are you too stupid to understand?" At the insult, the tense atmosphere had frozen completely. Minato and Kushina looked nervously between the two women, now busy exchanging glares. It was Naruto who interrupted them.

As though a wind of ice and darkness had awoken, the unnatural sound reverberated in a ghostly symphony around the restaurant, freezing all who were present and making the few other ninjas in the restaurant shiver in fear.

Naruto… had _giggled_. The sennin smiled and patted the baby's head proudly. Everyone else was creeped out. The older Naruto turned to the waitress, who was still staring at the younger Naruto, cold sweat sliding down her face.

"I'll have the same, please. We haven't eaten in a while, you see, and my friend here is particularly famished." His thumb pointing in Kyuubi's direction, Atsuko nodded blankly and proceeded to take the orders of the other two adults before quickly taking her leave.

The food arrived quickly, suspiciously so. Nevertheless, their meal was eaten in relative silence, exchanging only a few words here and there. Most eyes being drawn to the child, Naruto was the sole witness to Kyuubi's… _interesting_ eating manners. When it came down to paying, Minato tearfully pulled out his money before Naruto stopped him. He then withdrew several gold coins from his cloak, laying them next to the tab under the waitress' wide eyes.

"Where did you get gold _coins_ of all things?" asked Minato, shocked.

"I'm the Ri—"

"Nevermind," sighed the Yondaime, interrupting the sennin. Once outside, they decided to take a small walk to enjoy the fresh air, only now noticing, amazingly enough, the dark sky and stars. "How long have we been in there?" asked the kage of the village. Naruto shrugged.

"Time passes quickly when in good company," was his simple response. Nobody dared question his conception of 'good', Minato because he knew what answer he'd get, Kushina because she actually agreed and Kyuubi because he was unpredictable enough to drop her. Then came the fated question, courtesy of Minato.

"So, where are you going to live? I mean, unless you managed to find a hotel room but with Kyuu—"

"We're going to my home, obviously." The simple answer had Kyuubi staring at him half confused and half angry.

"If you think I'm sleeping in the same place as your perverted ass, you can…" She only now noticed the increasingly annoyed glare the sennin was giving her. With a huff, she turned her head the other way, grumbling.

Minato, on his part, _really_ wanted to know how Naruto had managed to find a place to live on such a short notice but he knew exactly what answer he'd get and instead kept his mouth shut. Thus, they soon parted ways, Minato and Kushina wanting to walk a little more with their son and the other pair simply disappearing, startling several civilians and ninjas alike.

It was an hour later, their son asleep in Kushina's arms that they finally settled on a bench in one of Konoha's parks, tired yet not wanting to go home right away. Her head resting on her lover's shoulder, Kushina sighed contently, enjoying the peaceful moment spent with her family. Looking down at her sleeping newborn, though, immediately brought her thought back to her older, _time traveling_ son. Her smile turned thoughtful, bringing Minato's attention back to her.

"Hey, something wrong, Kushi-chan?" he asked a bit playfully. She brought her eyes up to his, losing herself in pools of blue for several moments before she looked back at the surrounding trees. He was about to speak again when she opened her mouth.

"What do you think of all of this?" Her whispered question was enough for Minato to understand her current mood. He sighed deeply before replying.

"I… really don't know. It's all so… so…"

"Incredible? Farfetched?" suggested Kushina. Minato took several seconds before speaking.

"It almost makes me want to giggle," he joked, earning a small laugh from Kushina along with a small hit to his shoulder. He laughed a bit before his attitude turned serious again. "But you're right. I still have trouble believing all of this." His voice had softened at this point and he sighed again. Kushina rubbed her head against his shoulder a bit sleepily, earning a small smile from Minato, before she yawned, eliciting a yawn from him in return. "We should go home now. It's getting late."

"Yeah… And we'll introduce Naruto-chan to his new home tomorrow," she said. A second later, she felt the Yondaime stiffen suddenly. She looked up at his face to see his eyes wide, staring straight ahead. It took her a few moments before she came to the same realization as him. Her reaction was similar to Minato's as two words repeated themselves in her mind.

_Naruto_.

_Home_.

Both bolted from their seat and started to run toward the Namikaze mansion, forgetting in their panic that Minato could use the Hiraishin. Fifteen minutes later, they arrived in front of the place, slightly out of breath and hearths beating fast. Slowly, fearfully, Minato swiped a thin line of blood on the door, deactivating the security seals, before opening the door slowly, scared of what he might find on the other side. Kushina finally decided that enough was enough and pushed the door wide open. Their home, dark and unperturbed from their last stay, stared right back at them. Both let out long, deep sighs of relief, almost slumping against the doorway. They made their way up to the second floor then walked straight to the master bedroom. Not even bothering to turn on the light, Kushina gently put Naruto in his crib at the foot of the large bed before both parents slid into the bed. Kushina slid her arms around the blond haired man's torso and snuggled to his back. She laid a kiss to the back of his neck before making herself comfortable and falling asleep. Minato slid his arms around the redhead's stomach before also kissing the back of her neck and falling asleep.

In-between the two sleeping parents, Naruto and Kyuubi stared at each other blankly, a pair of arms encircling both.

_This is awkward._

§§§§§§§§§§ End of Chapter §§§§§§§§§§

AN: Well, another chapter finished.

_Random bird crashing in the window_: I felt like it would be a good stress reliever. Besides, it makes sense with the seal and all.

_Failed jumps_: Let me put it this way. Right now, if you try to walk or do any kind of physical activity, you wouldn't have too much trouble. Now imagine that you're an animal, thus forced to move on four legs, and have a great difference in weight. Not only is the different weight confusing, but its repartition on your body is fucked up as well. You'd probably have a bit of trouble before being able to move somewhat normally.

'_I'm the Rikudo Sennin'_: Is there really a need for explanations?

_Atsuko_: Needed a name so I typed 'Japanese name' on Google, picked a site and picked a name. This one can mean 'Cordial Child', among a few other definitions. Thought it'd be a good one.

_Naruto's giggle_: I just loved that part.

_The ending of the chapter_: This was my favourite part to write. Though at first I wanted to make Naruto say something, I decided that this'd be better.

Well, this is all. Some more MinaKushi, which is surprisingly easy to write for me, along with some _very slight_ NaruKyuu, I guess. Anyway, I tried to make this chapter longer and I hope you liked it. I'd also like to thanks all who reviewed. It's nice to know people like this enough to comment.

Well, later.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** Kami no Shinobi  
**Author(s):** Ra/Rael Orion  
**Summary:** Starts at chapter 500. As Uchiha Madara prepares to unleash the Kyuubi, a surprising person makes his appearance. Saving Kushina and stopping the Kyuubi, this man needs not even make himself a legend. He already is. Rikudo Sennin fans welcome. Time travel. AU.  
**Main pairing(s): **Naruto x Female Kyuubi, Minato x Kushina (Note that I wanted, at some point, to introduce Konan with Naruto and Kyuubi. What with all the stuff about the Rinnegan. However, there's still a while before that so I _may_ change my mind.)  
**Warning(s):** Time Travel. Alternative Universe. Spoilers. Questionable humor? Since it was mentioned, I guess godly!Naruto would also count.

**Special warning**: In this chapter may be something potentially offensive to Japanese culture. I'm not quite sure about it, even though I tried to search for the answer, but as far as I know, chopsticks are the main (read; only) utensil used in a more ancient Japan (a few centuries back, perhaps). Given that the technological level in the world of Naruto is rather messed up, which I aim to correct/explain here, I wanted to explain this to anyone thinking I tried to insult Japan in general. If I did, I really did not mean to.

§§§§§§§§§§ Chapter Three §§§§§§§§§§

A typical morning in the Namikaze household usually followed a similar schedule for everyday. Being the Kage of the village, Minato would wake up early, follow his personal hygiene routine and then eat a small breakfast. Following this, he would wake his sleeping wife and depart for the Hokage tower, leaving his spouse to a similar morning. The only exceptions to this would be weekends, which by the law were actually mandatory 'free days' for the village leader. The reasoning behind this being simply not to overcharge the leader and either incapacitate him via burnout or have him snap. On those weekends, his wife and he would take a while longer to get out of bed before having a rather large breakfast, sometimes in the company of friends or such. On some of those days, though, if the mood allowed, these two activities would be separated by a 'shower', in which both adults would step in the bathroom and carefully activate locking and soundproofing seals.

As such, that Sunday started very slowly. Both residents of the mansion had woken up slowly to the warmth of a human body and had cuddled closer. A comment from a third, familiar voice easily broke that morning's routine.

"Not that I'm against incest, but I'm pretty sure that you are." Two sets of eyes snapped open and two bodies stiffened instantly halfway before the sentence was finished. Minato, his frame bigger than the woman he currently had in his arms, instantly saw the twin ringed eyes of his supposed son, staring right back at him. It was only once he saw Kushina's head rise from behind Naruto and look at him that he understood the comment made by said supposed son. A look at the body he currently held against him revealed a pair of increasingly annoyed eyes, slowly but surely becoming more frightening by the second.

Two yelps of surprise ringed through the room as Kushina and Minato fell to the sides of the bed in an attempt to get away from the two still lying in it. Both rubbed the spot they had fallen on as they stood up. Then, they looked at the occupants of the bed, confusion and irritation etched on their faces. Kyuubi was hissing in pain, covering both her ears with her hands as Naruto looked at the two of them with his usual amusement. Moments later, once the red eyed woman had stopped covering her ears and let out a sigh of relief, Minato spoke before the other blond could even open his mouth.

"What are you doing here?" As he was asking, he noted in irritation that Naruto didn't seem to listen at all, instead choosing to make himself comfortable in the bed, _his_ bed. He was about to repeat himself when Naruto spoke.

"I thought I told you yesterday." The answer was unfortunately just as Minato expected, uninformative. He looked sideways at Kushina who took the hint and spoke.

"What we meant to ask was what are you doing in _our_ bed, in _our_ room and in _our_ house." Although the tone used pointed more at a statement than a question, Kushina's look clearly expressed she was waiting for an answer.

"We're family, so I figured I could call this place home and this is the only bed Kyuubi accepted to sleep on. Supposedly, the others are either too hard or too soft." At their disbelieving look, he put his hands up in defence. "Don't ask me, I don't have a clue, either." Then, as though having a second thought, he shrugged. "Actually, I do have a clue but I don't feel like telling you." Although the answer was somewhat expected, it didn't stop them from slapping their palms to their foreheads in consternation. Minato looked at Naruto with half opened eyes and spoke with sarcasm clear in his voice.

"Anything else I should know?"

"Your aquarium is empty," instantly replied Naruto. Minato and Kushina actually sighed in relief when nothing else came after the rather mundane statement. Then Minato began to cry pitifully, drawing curious looks from the other three.

_Those fishes were worth a month's salary…_

After Minato's odd outburst, Naruto finally decided to get out of bed and headed out the room, soon followed by Kyuubi, who glared at them while rubbing her ears, drawing sheepish looks from the adults. Once they were outside, the new parents sighed, already tired, and headed to the bathroom for quick showers. Fifteen minutes later, they came out of the room, refreshed, and proceeded to put on clothes. Spotting the empty crib, they immediately assumed their newborn son was with their… _other_ son before heading toward the stairs. Halfway down, Minato and Kushina stopped as they heard a familiar comment coming from downstairs.

"I'm the Rikudo Sennin." Both adults sighed before another male voice spoke.

"Bullshit." Minato palmed his head, drawing a confused look from his wife.

"I invited Kakashi and Rin for breakfast," he explained. Kushina quickly adopted a look fitting the situation, consternation, before they walked down the stairs, oddly calm. When they got down, they finally saw the whole scene and Minato didn't fight the urge to rub his temples.

In the middle of the room stood the sennin, as laidback as he usually was. A few feet from the door was Kakashi, his posture tense and, Minato could tell, ready to remove his headband. What was the most unusual was to see Kyuubi and Rin to the side, looking on, amused and worried looks on their faces respectively as they stood next to each other. When Kakashi saw his sensei come down the stairs, things got a little tenser.

"Sensei." The 'greeting' alerted Rin and Kyuubi to his presence. Naruto merely turned his head toward him and smiled.

"Hey." The single word aggravated Minato, who was at a loss as to why. "Would you tell him to be more respectful? I was cooking something when he just enters the kitchen, looks at me and starts attacking me." If it wasn't for the fact that Minato could see that Kakashi's clothes had obvious signs of recent use, so to say high speed movements and attacks, he would be hard pressed to believe Naruto, whose cloak didn't seem the least bit wrinkled… Well, he couldn't really tell but he was sure it wouldn't have a single wrinkle if it was normal clothing. In truth, he didn't look as though he even moved at all and just floated above the ground.

_Even then, I can almost believe he _does_ float around. God I hate that cloak._

Coming back from his thoughts, Minato just shook his head and signalled for Kakashi to relax, which the teen did begrudgingly. Naruto eye-smiled and patted Kakashi's head. On reflex, the grey haired ninja immediately stabbed the man, who'd been at least twelve feet away last time he blinked. He leapt away in slight shock and blinked several times. Naruto frowned a bit before he disappeared, the kunai seemingly floating in the air for a second before falling to the floor. Unlike the two teens in the room, the three adults didn't even muster the energy to blink. Kyuubi shrugged, gathering attention to herself, before she turned around and headed to the kitchen. Curious, they followed her and entered the kitchen just in time to see her sit next to Naruto at the table, the sage eating toasts. She herself picked up some food and started to eat, showing exactly what they'd miss the night before when their attention had been on the baby at their table. As though on cue, their shocked, weirded out, slightly disgusted and morbidly fascinated expression were directed at the baby sitting on the baby chair next to Naruto. At his completely normal giggle, Kakashi shuddered violently as Rin rushed to his side and fawned over him. The parents in the room blinked then shrugged. Only then did they notice the incredible amount of food, as varied as the sandaime's technique repertoire, lying on the table, waiting to be eaten. All the official ninjas took a chair, as though transfixed on the normal and exotic looking meals on the table. Minato picked up a strange, forked little piece of metal to his eyes, inspecting it.

"This utensil is called a fork. It's useful to just pick up your food by stabbing it." The explanation came from the sennin, who demonstrated it by piercing a piece of egg from his plate and bringing it to his mouth. Minato frowned a bit before repeating the actions, a piece of curly looking meat as his target. Bringing it to his mouth, he took a bit of the crispy food and set the fork down in his plate, chewing it under the attention of his fellow ninjas. He swallowed it before humming a little in thought.

"It's not bad but a bit too greasy for my taste," he finally said. While Kushina took the fork to taste for herself, Naruto spoke.

"For me, too. Just thought you might be interested in it. It's called bacon." Rin and Kushina had similar reactions to Minato while Kakashi seemed to like the foreign taste. This got him and Kyuubi in a glaring contest when she swiped the next one from his hands, also enjoying it. The amusement of their small audience was lost on them. Naruto proceeded to drop a square, golden piece of bread on Minato's plate and poured a sticky, brownish liquid on it. "French toast. It's rather on the sweet side but if your tastes are anything like mine, you'll enjoy it."

The breakfast lasted for close to two hours as the individuals present around the tables became more and more comfortable with each other. The different new meals got several different reactions from each of them as Naruto explained some of their origins or his own thoughts on them. Once it was finished and everyone full and content, all the food poofed into smoke, leaving the Konoha residents suddenly wary.

"Please don't tell me all the food we just ate was sealed," muttered Minato. Naruto looked at him blankly.

"Is there a problem with that?" Minato groaned.

"There's a reason nobody ever seals food if someone else than them will eat it. The chakra of the one doing the seal pours into the food and when someone else eats it, the foreign chakra poisons theirs." Minato explained grumpily. Naruto kept staring.

"My seals don't."

"Oh really? How come you can _defy the very laws of seals and chakra_, then?" The question, soaked in sarcasm, left Kakashi's mouth before Minato could stop him. The answer was instant.

"I'm the Rikudo Sennin." Kakashi's reply was also instant.

"Bullshit."

Minato groaned.

"Kakashi, Rin, listen and listen well." His resigned tone of voice instantly grabbed his student's full attention. He looked at them both in the eyes. "He is the Rikudo Sennin. Whatever he says is most likely true. Whatever he does is most likely impossible to replicate. Trying to win either a battle or an argument against him is pointless." Minato's admission shocked them both. Kakashi was the first to regain his composure and swiftly tried to change the subject by point at Kyuubi, ignoring Rin's automatic response about 'pointing at people'.

"Then you're going to tell me she's your daughter from the future." Naruto snickered. Kyuubi snickered. Minato and Kushina… snickered. Kakashi's face started to go pale before Minato shook his head.

"No she's not." Kakashi sighed in relief. "She's the Kyuubi in human form." The male teen's eye snapped to his sensei, staring hard into his eyes, before turning to look at Kyuubi, who wore an amused grin on her face. He kept switching between the two before Minato decided to take pity on him. He pointed at Naruto. "He, on the other hand, is my son from the future." Okay, perhaps not quite. Rin copied Kakashi when the Sharingan user decided that his dreams were the best place to be at the moment. Everyone stared at their limp forms for a moment before Minato turned to Naruto, his face slightly surprised. "Making people faint _is_ rather fun." Naruto eye-smiled at the man.

Following the two teens' loss of consciousness, the remaining people present decided to take them back to their home. Once that was done, and with approximately one hour before noon, it was decided that a walk around the village would be the best thing to do. This consisted solely of Naruto's opinion but neither of the women really minded and Minato just didn't have the energy to try to change the sage's mind. Of course, walking around with what seemed to be a clone of yourself along with two different women earned the Hokage several disapproving stares. Their short walk still managed to be interrupted midway when an ANBU appeared in front of Naruto, kneeling. Before he could even utter a word, though, Naruto pointed at Minato with his thumb.

"Wrong guy. Talk to him." At the ANBU's confusion, which the entire little group could feel, Naruto pointed at his eyes, their deep purple a rather great contrast to Minato's blue ones. The ANBU stood up awkwardly, clearly embarrassed at his mistake before making his way to Minato, who only now noticed the cloak had somehow shifted to a similar copy of his own attire somewhere along their walk. Putting it aside for now, he stared in the eyes of the ANBU, mask as though invisible. The ninja leaned slightly forward before he whispered something to him, which Kushina was the only one unable to hear. Once the ANBU pulled back and disappeared, Kushina was faced with a dumbfounded Minato, an amused Kyuubi and a blank faced Naruto. She noticed absentmindedly the lack of rings in Naruto's eyes.

"What is it?"

"We forgot Biwako and Taji in the cave." Kushina's eyes widened.

"But I thought they were dead!" Her slight outburst caught the attention of several passing civilians and ninjas alike. If the situation wasn't as dire, she would've blushed.

"Apparently, their wounds were merely to put them out of commission."

"I knew I had forgotten something." They looked at Naruto oddly before staring back at each other.

"So they're alive?" Kushina's question was met with a nod.

"Yes. When we didn't return, the third got worried and sent some more ANBU who took care of the wounded. They're in the hospital now." They both looked at each other in relief. When they turned toward Naruto, they found Kyuubi and him munching on sticks of pocky. Before they could ask, he threw one to each of them, which they caught by reflex. At their questioning stare, he shrugged and pointed at a pocky shop a little bit further down the road.

The four of them started to walk again, deciding to finish their interrupted activity. Although mostly silent, the four of them enjoyed the fresh air. Soon, they reached a small park, coincidentally the same one Minato and Kushina had been to the night before. Sitting in a patch of grass in the shade of a tree, a small tension started to build up as nobody spoke. Once it became too much for the ex-jinchuuriki, Kushina looked at her former tenant, managing a small smile.

"You learned to walk correctly quite fast. I'm impressed," she said, nervousness in her voice. Kyuubi looked at her, as though gauging her. She opened her mouth a bit but closed it just as fast. She seemed lost in thoughts before she turned her head away with a huff.

"Of course." Although short and somewhat snappish, her response still made Kushina relieved. An answer lacking any kind of insult was actually far above her expectations. She looked at Minato and imitated Kyuubi when she saw his small smirk. A small, oh so sweet smell soon brought her eyes to Naruto, who was eating ramen while looking at them. Seeing her stare, he reached behind him and brought another bowl of ramen, which he offered her. Quickly taking it, she broke the chopsticks resting on it and started to eat.

"We ate just one hour ago!" Minato's disbelieving voice brought him three blank stares and he now noticed Kyuubi was also eating the salty treat. He blinked then rubbed his eyes as the three shrugged and went back to their ramen. His eyes twitched when he saw baby Naruto drinking milk next to the older one.

_Wait, isn't he supposed to drink breast milk at his age?_

"I'm the—"

"Shut up."

§§§§§§§§§§ End of Chapter §§§§§§§§§§

AN: Well, this is it. Longer than my first two chapters but shorter than the last one. Sorry about that.

_Forced Weekends:_ It'd make sense, I think. Seriously, the most powerful ninja in the village gets the most frustrating job? Way to go, buddy! Make the village leader and strongest warrior have the most pressure! That's _sure_ to end up well.

_Incest comment:_ That really was just a small joke. There won't be any in here. Though now I do want to write some, damnit.

_Kakashi and Rin:_ Felt like it.

_Fancy breakfast:_ Felt like it.

_Sealing food theory:_ I figured it'd make sense, too. I believe medical techniques are mostly about making your own chakra 'neutral' so that the wounded's body won't reject it. Kinda like how some blood types don't mix together and you need either a specific one or another compatible one to inject so that it won't be rejected. Only here everyone's got their own 'blood type' with only some having similar ones.

_Bullshit: _Felt like it.

_Biwako and Taji:_ The two that Madara attacked. Since it didn't show their deaths when I started this, (only that they were knocked out and bleeding) I figured they would make a good reason to make something happen. Hell, I even tried to find a way to keep them alive after the explosion in the manga before I realised it didn't happen in this fic. I feel silly.

_Three last line:_ I just love those.

_Throwing baby Naruto in the prologue:_ I was fucking right! He DID throw Naruto! I just… failed at predicting anything else…

Now on to some reviews I got that I wanted to respond to, kinda.

_Rick James:_ I think I got two reviews mentioning this guy. Not sure anymore. Who is he, anyway? I'm too lazy to google it.

_Younger Naruto's pairing: _will not be NaruHina. I will state it here that I dislike several characters, Hinata being among them. So is Sakura. Now, don't be mistaken, I will not do character bashing in this fanfiction (as far as I know, anyway). I just won't include those I don't like all that much. Sorry for the fans of at least those two pairings.

_For a Hokage and his wife to run out of breath after running for only 15 minutes is weird_: Well, they saw what Naruto is capable of and didn't want their house blown to pieces. I guess the panic and apprehension would contribute to their fatigue. (I made that up on the spot, you actually caught me.)

Well, that's all for now. Thanks for reading this and I hope you enjoy it.


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